"How do I know what I think unless I write it?"

Unfortunately im not one one of those people who lays down and lets others walk all over me. one who holds all the pain and regret and anger inside.  there is a filter i sometimes lack.  i say what i mean and mean what i say. i write in blunt and sometimes unforgiving ways.  i can understand when i vent and later on have to apologize or erease my comments.  but when what i have written has given me peace inside, and helped me gain information about myself and led me to information to help me cope with a life altering issue i cant bring myself to apologize for it.  and sometimes the truth hurts. i had to become a martyer because no one else in my family had the resolve to stand up for themselvfes.  for this i am not sorry.  the pain that was inflicted on me was not my own doing.  the hurt that she is going through may not be her fault but if we allow her to continue without getting the help she very obviously needs then it is our fault she is in so much pain. to be so paranoid that you seperate yourself from every person that loves you and to truely and honestly believe that you are missingthings that are right in front of you is clearly not a safe way to be living.  she may never forgive me but i will take that because i cant sit by and watch her do this to herself. and you can be mad at me all you want but the truth is it is only i that has the gall and merit to stand up and do what i have done.  after the pleading of family not to be mad at her and not to bring them into the issue.  you tell me she is sick and i cant be mad at a sick person.  however you refuse to take the proper steps to help her get  better and get mad at me for asking her to look within herself and make a choice to get better because she vlashed out at everyone vfor it. But you are not the ones living with the fact that someone utterly hates you and believes you have wronged them when you have not. You are not the ones who cry over her and wish you could hold her and make it all better but can not because she refuses to even speak to you. And you are not the ones being isolated by someone you love and have an emesnce amount of gratitude and respect for. Though I do have to apologize at times I will not apologize for this I will not.