It is a whole other thing to lose a family member to mental illness

 

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This one requires a little bit of backround.   My grandmother just lost her husband this october.  She has been in a wheelchair since she was 25 years old due to a car accident and he was not only her love, the father to her children, he was also her primary caregiver.  My father has tried to get her to move in with him so that he and my mother cantae care of her, but she has refused.  since then we have all een a change in her.  she is paranoid and has accused several family members of stealing things from her.  I moved to arizona this year to be closer to her and my grandfather before my grandfather passed away from cancer.  I did this because I was unable to be by my grandmothers side in 2009 whe she passed away of lou gerigs.  We recently had a house fire andwere homeles with our 4 children for 4 days.  My grandmother has 2 extra rooms that she opened up to us.   we brought 10 full bags of food that were donated to us by a church.  i left them seperate from her food and this is what we ate for the 3 days we stayed with her.  we also brought 3 gallons of milk, and chicken and things we saved from the fridge the night ofthe fire.  i cooked dinner for my grandmother out of our food while we were there and when we left I took only the food that was left ovwer from what we had brought, and a cotton candy ice cream pint grandma said she didt like and had sat in her freezer for a month.  She called up my father saying I stole all of the food out of her cupboards. shewas crying.  my father called my brother who was there with us through it all ( he has been living with us)  and asked him if there was any truth to my grandmothers claim.  he said no and i called my dad to talk to him about it.  he told me my grandmother is sick, and that she will only get worse and worse until they have to stake over custodyof her and force her to move in with him and my mother and to not hold a grudge or be sad because i am not the only one she is accusing of stealing.  I was invited to christmas at her house. we had decided not to go due to the situation at hand.  tonight i got a warning phone call from my father.  he had just gotten off of the phone with my grandmother and she planned to call me and confront me.. she still honeslty believes i stole from her.  I assure you i Did not.  i did not think i could handle a coversation over the phone like that where she could easily hang up on me and not listen to what i have to say, so i sent her a message on facebook.  while writing it she wrote back.  I am no longer going to be talking to her per her request.  i amTrying to stay strong. God help me. Its one thing to lose a family member to death... That has happened to me twice in the last couple of years. It is one thing to lose someone from betrayal, that too has happened in the last 2 years... It is a whole other thing to lose a family member to mental illness. To have them push you aside because they honestly believe in their mind that you have wronged them when you havent. I do believe this is the hardest one yet.

 

 

33 minutes ago
Tosha Marie Gravitt

 

My dearest Grandmother,

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32 minutes ago
Tosha Marie Gravitt

 

MY Dearest Grandmother,I am going to start this off by telling you that I love you. I am sorry for all the things that have happened to you in the past few years and I wish I could have been closer through your hardest times and been a pillar for you to lean on. I have such a huge amount of respect

for you and all you have overcme in your life. that being said I want you to know that I have been told that you honestly believe that I have stolen food from you...

I understand the amount of stress you are under being on a fixed income. I understand the extreme hurt that you have gone through losing someone so closeto you who was your rock through so much. I know you still honestly believe I am just a manipulator and have done you a horrible wrong, but I HAVE NOT.

I have not confronted you about this out of my respect for you. I was hoping that you would realize what you are doing and maybe things could go back to normal without having to do this.

It is through prayer and much pain that I have realized that it will not...

These things you have been accusing me of... stealing towels which you have found in your dryer/washer later the same day... Stealing a cutting board that joshua had in fact washed for you and it was sitting right in your dishwasher clean which you also found... A Blanket you and grandpa had given to us and then told my dad I had borrowed it and just not given it back... so i brought it back even though you had said we could have it, just so that there wouldnt be any problems, because even though we needed it I love you enough to go without to make you happy and more comfortable

It hurts me to see you huring

I cry for you often. I pray that god will comfort you and that you will not have to be alone for the holidays. that you will not push everyone away from you..

I am emensely hurt that this would even cross your mind. and even more hurt that you honestly and truely believe that I would ever want to hurt you. You did so much for us. Will and I discussed not taking the chair because of the way things happened with the blanket, and the towels, and the cutting board. we didnt want to have any problems, didnt want you to not remember giving it to us.

after tears and deliberation i accepted it. Because I had nothing from my grandfather. And I had several people there when I took it and you told us we could have it...

 

 

 

14 minutes ago
Linda Gravitt

 

OH PLEASE ~ You know that I know, that you know what you have done. Give it a rest! Theives are not welcome in my home

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13 minutes ago
Tosha Marie Gravitt

 

I love you. I dont want to see you living like this. pushing everyone away. thinking everyone is out to get you, to steal from you. Please pray. I am praying for you

I will not be coming over for christmas not because i am a thief, because i love you and I cant watch you do this to yourself you are hurting me and others around you..

 

 

 

10 minutes ago
Linda Gravitt

 

Nobody is being pushed a way but you and that is for good cause!
 How you like to twist the story by say others have stolen from me On You granddaughter! Good Byel

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10 minutes ago
Tosha Marie Gravitt

 

please please just pary

pray

does god lie?

ask him for the answer

the answer is not to lash out at me for something I have never done to you and never would do to you

and if you cant ask god for the answer then that is your answer.

I love you. and if you wish me not to be around I will not be around. but know that i moved here for you and grandpa.

i never said they stole from you read it again. you accused them of it. I know about you accusing rick and jamie of stealing. rick a modem.

but if its a good bye you want. know that I love you and am prying for you

And that you cant keep doin this. you will need to get help. God can help you make the desicion. but what is happening now and the thigs you are calling me and saying to me are not that grandmother that I now. Please pray thats all i can ask.